just tryna live my life & be the best I can be
FB_IMG_1426832355491.jpg

Home

A girl with with a mind full of dreams, thoughts and loves.

In The Waiting

28039325567_b1de9b8c3e_o.jpg

______

Trust in the timing of everything and just keep doing what you love. Follow the direction of your heart, and if the path isn't clear right now, keep moving and it will become more clear where it is you need to be. 

One of life's larger lessons that I may always keep learning over and over again is waiting; waiting for everything to fall into place and trusting that everything happening is always leading me to where I want to be. It's difficult to notice my subconscious tendency of trying to control situations.

Why do good things get snatched away from me so quickly? Why did my knee have to get hurt at this time? Why am I hearing this right now? 

Most of the time, whenever I'm eagerly searching for the answers, I never get them. Lately, I've been feeling quite lost with what I want to do in life. I've been evaluating what I put my energy into, particularly with this blog that I created three years ago. I've been brainstorming up and down, side ways, every angle... searching for ideas I could choose to challenge myself, but there wasn't one answer or idea that just clicked. 

A few weeks ago, as I was watching Avatar with my brother, I accidentally knocked over my tea all over my surface pro's keyboard. For the most part, I stayed silently angry. How am I supposed to write and create without my keyboard? How am I going to continue photos and doing research for my clubs? I can't really afford to replace my cover right now. How could this have happened to me right now? 

Well, other than learning not to have drinks next to my laptop, this whole incident brought me back to my journal, the paper where all my writing started. I knew that I was getting too caught up in trying to create a project people would love instead of following my heart's calling, so I wasn't surprised that this happened to me. 

Usually, I would have probably gotten really angry at myself and the situation, but from growing up and experience, I knew that wouldn't help me at all. I decided to trust that everything was going to work out the way it needs to, whether my keyboard would survive or not. After calming down, my dilemma solved itself. I knew what I had to do, which led me onto the path of redesigning my website and changing my process of writing and creating. Ultimately, I learned that I always need to allow myself and my mind to be free. 

That's only one example of being impatient with time. It's normal to want opportunities, material things, even people, but the more you try to push a narrative that's only result of subjective overthinking, the more it drives away from you. 

Most of the time, you just have to tell yourself this:

"I know that what I need and what I want is always moving towards me. I believe it."

And let the Universe do its job. Once you actually get it, it's one of the best feelings in the world. You'll realize why you had to wait and why you had to go through something else before having it presented to you. I felt that way when I went back to New York two months ago and since then, I've been trying to maintain that sense of happiness and gratitude that stayed with me throughout. When you're looking for the answers, there's a reason you don't get them, the same reason why the things, ideas, and people come towards you so easily. 

Trust in the timing of everything and just keep doing what you love. Follow the direction of your heart, and if the path isn't clear right now, keep moving and it will become more clear where it is you need to be. 

I'll leave with one of my favourite quotes: "What you seek is seeking you. - Rumi // Just trust, friends. It will all work itself out.


I listen to Kina Grannis' In the Waiting whenever I go through phases of being impatient and eager. Here are some of the lyrics to her song:

How much longer can I sit still and be hopeful and doubting and torn inside?

And all this time, I've been staring at the minute hand

Oh what a crime, oh, that I can't seem to understand that life is in the waiting