just tryna live my life & be the best I can be


A girl with with a mind full of dreams, thoughts and loves.

Bittersweet Goodbye: Quitting Social Media For One Year

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Is there even meaning in our lives if we're just living them for our online selves?

B.O.B said it perfectly in the first line of his song Earthquake; "BORN IN A COMPETITION WITH A FEELING THAT SOMETHING'S MISSING." 

This whole song was the trigger to the release of so many unanswered questions I had regarding social media over the past several years.

In the future, will I really care if my Instagram feed was aesthetically pleasing? Will I really base my self-worth on the number of followers and likes I have? Are you following me just for getting more numbers or because you actually care about me and my work? Am I posting this for me or am I posting this to feel validated?

Why do we delete photos of ourselves after some time? Is it because what you were wearing was not on par with the latest trends? Is it because you didn't get enough likes? Is it because after posting that photo, you noticed that you don't look like those so-called models?

Is online activism really making a difference? Is social media making us anti-social? Does choosing not to post #PRAYFOR______ mean that I don't care?

Why do people need to know about our lives? Are you really living if you're constantly taping your life and viewing it through a lens or a phone screen?

Is there even meaning in our lives if we're just living them for our online selves?

You know it's a real issue when you're crying at one in the morning, scrolling through Instagram, your news feed, your Twitter feed, etc.

I've been on social media for so long that it's now a subconscious act to ask myself "Why don't they say those things to me?" "Why can I not have that kind of attention?" "Why must it be so hard for me to draw attention to my work when it looks so easy for them?" "Why are people so petty about the smallest things when there's bigger issues happening in reality?"

I know I want to make an impact on the world, but I don't think my mental health is worth sacrificing just to abide to society's standards of being active on social media while maintaining aesthetically pleasing profiles, both showing that I'm living a life and that my life is absolutely wonderful.

We live in a generation of oversharing. We live in a digital age where people are petty for not getting a follow back on Instagram or for being friended just to get a promo from an account with more followers. In fact, so many petty issues derive from social media. Assumptions are made so easily over an invite you never got or from the absence of emojis throughout online communication.

Honestly, I could do without knowing so much about someone from their online profiles. It eliminates real-life conversation; I don't even have to ask people what's new in their lives, because I've already seen on Snapchat, what they were literally doing a few minutes ago, on Facebook, where they just were on vacation, and on Twitter, where they submitted yet another tweet about a first-world problem or an indirect reply to an interpersonal issue.

After years of thinking "Man, sometimes I just want to quit social media," I'm finally deciding to do it. It's bittersweet for the reasons that I'll be sacrificing losing (potentially) hundreds of followers that I built up on Instagram from social media marketing for my blog, being in-the-know of the latest memes, and losing my over 200+ Snapstreaks.

Are you realizing how silly that sounds? I'm sacrificing a bunch of numbers and social media's feeling of connectedness to actually LIVE. Now, I have a reason to talk to others, because no, honey, I didn't watch your Snapchat story or see your latest Instagram post about what's new in your life, so TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.  

All passive-aggressiveness aside, I will miss being kept up-to-date with my role models who use social media as a platform for activism (mostly because they've already got the fame to have a voice), but newspapers and news websites still exist. I know that a year from now, my social media accounts will still be there and more, but my perspective and stance on social media, as a whole, will be completely different. 

I've hesitated to really take action and quit, but my logic and heart are telling me that I won't know until I try.

As much as my introverted self loves finding people to relate with and to connect with over similar interests, I know that I've yet to discover, outside of my comfort zone, real-life connections that are probably more satisfying than relationships formed online. 

Before you think I'm going to disappear off the face of the earth, I won't be leaving all social media apps -- I'll be fully off of Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook, but I will occasionally use Tumblr, VSCO, and Flickr, mostly because those apps function differently and don't have an effect on me. -- I'll also keep posting on my blog. If you'd like to subscribe to my mailing list, you can down below. -- I'm quitting apps that have made it easy for me to be influenced by others. I just want to live how I did before social media; explore my niche, increase overall productivity, write and read a lot, and be mindful if what I'm posting online is authentic to who I really am.