just tryna live my life & be the best I can be


A girl with with a mind full of dreams, thoughts and loves.

My Mind Is My Best Friend

Here's a secret. Half of me loves to share the work I enjoy writing and half of me wants to remain in the comfort of my own bubble.

If you didn't already know, I'm an introvert, meaning that I recharge by being alone and not by hanging out with others. I feel like I live inside my mind 80% of the time and I know that my feelings definitely control my actions. This post is just a little glimpse of how my mind works and how my journey to becoming more self-aware of it has helped me become happier.

Realizing the power and total control of how you perceive things takes a greater level of self-awareness. I've already hit new lows this year, like becoming obsessed with stats for my blog and new YouTube channel, which I then would compare to my friends who have also started on that platform. There's other stuff as well, but since I'm still going through them, I'm still in the process of living and understanding them.

If you've seen the animated movie 'Inside Out', you know that they visually interpret the characters' minds with a control centre and characters (within the minds) that represent each emotion like anger, sadness, joy, etc. When I think of the inside of my mind, I think of it as this very comfortable, homey, & beautiful place -- books on shelves on the sides, a small coffee table with a flower in a vase and tea in a mug right next to it, and my emotions are just busy doing their own thing, chilling on bean bags or something.

I've realized that I may be too introspective that it affects how I act in person. When I think of social interaction, for example, me getting nervous or anxious in real life, I imagine my peaceful and orderly mind turning into absolute mayhem with all the emotions running around screaming 'MAYDAY! MAYDAY! EVERYTHING IS OUT OF CONTROL.' I would have hoped that for almost two decades of being alive that I would be more in control of my emotions, but at least it's becoming a slow, yet progressive process for me to first acknowledge that I've got to work on my self-control and self-consciousness.

I mention self-consciousness because that is mostly the route of my issues. Most of the time, I'm stressed out about issues that I've created inside of my mind through little worries that probably don't matter to my environment, but I've somehow made them matter to me. An example is that I used to get too scared going into my lectures late, because people would stare as I walked down the hall to get a seat. The thought of the whole experience felt so overwhelming that I ended up skipping a two hour lecture. Eventually, I just forced myself to do the very thing I was scared of and realized that no one really cares and that the slight fear only really lasts less than a minute, or however long it takes you to find a seat and sit down.

My mind is the most complicated machine I know and yours probably is as well. Being in my mind a lot, along with the lack or social interaction, has shown me that it has IMMENSE power on yourself and how you act. I figured out that sometimes you've just got to let go of your own judgements and worries that you have plastered on the walls of your mind, and just go for it. It's this whole new world of going through the open door with all of your fears inside and at least TRYING to face them instead of letting your mind constantly tell you that you can't achieve something.

In my opinion, your mind should be your best friend. Think of it as a box with a bunch of incoming and outgoing thoughts passing through every second. You can't escape your thoughts because we're always having to use our mind with everyday tasks. Sometimes, people don't like being alone with their thoughts because it brings them into dark places that they want to avoid, but c'mon now, it's your mind... face it and conquer it, and tell it who's boss (YOU ARE!!!).

I've found comfort in my own mind, because I've realized that it's something that will live with me forever.

Why would I want to continue living my life when all that's inside is negativity and a mindset that wants to bring me down? Why would I compare myself to others when I have the power to change that?

If you think you have no power over a situation, you're wrong. You have so much power, because you are the commander-in-chief of your mind. If you're in a terrible situation, you do your best to get out it. If you're insecure, stop following people who bring you down, and instead, follow those who lift you up. Remember that you're stuck with your mind forever -- it can either be the sibling you never wanted or the best friend that you've been waiting for all your life.

My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
— Newt Scamander (aka Hufflepuff bae), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them